I’ve been walking around with this post in my head all week. And you know what? When the time came to finally sit down and actually type it (and believe me, I waited until the 11th hour, born a procrastinator) I found myself absolutely paralyzed by the blinking cursor.
How do I start? What do I say here? How sappy can I get before I’ve tipped the scales on the sap? It would feel really weird to be casual about this whole thing and just say something like, “Later, Taters! It’s been fun!” But I don’t want to go overboard and I don’t want to be a drama queen. It’s a fine line, I think. Farewells are tricky like that.
It’s been ten years. Ten years is a really long time to do anything.
I thought a slideshow might be sweet, especially for those of you who have been around since the early days. So on Monday, I downloaded a free trial of a slideshow movie maker thing where I could put some photos to a song or two. Can you tell I’ve never done this before? I worked on it for a few days. Oh me, oh my. First of all, how do you go about selecting a song for such a thing? And there are so many pictures. So.many.pictures. A first home. Holidays. Birthdays and additions to the family. Vacations, weddings and anniversaries. Letters to Santa, first days of school, lost teeth. Halloween costumes, thrift adventures, chickens! Shoes and food. Oh, the shoes and the food.
Two days later and the whole thing became just a little bit too heart wrenching and over the top. So ix-nay on the ideshow-slay, and here I am. Trying to figure out how to just find the words and make this work.
Can I be honest? This is hard. Do you guys know how much I really do love you? How much I’ve really loved this space? How much of myself I’ve poured into Frecklewonder over the last 10 years? There have been plenty of days where I have wanted to wrap my hands around the screen of my laptop, pull it back over my shoulder and fling it into space. Shwiiiiiiing, see ya! Some days were just hard and there was no way around it. But for every one day that felt like sandpaper, there were a hundred more that were pretty magical. And just so you know, I kind of hate the word magical. I think it just might be the most over used word in the blog world. No offense to anyone who uses the word magical.
Rules are meant to be broken every so often, so I’m embracing the magic.
There are some special people that I want to acknowledge who have truly made an impact on my life, who have always been there and have always been awesome, and who I absolutely cannot imagine not knowing.
At the risk of tipping the scales, at the risk of this post showing up on some snark site (FRECKLEWONDER QUITS HER BLOG AND THINKS ANYONE CARES!) Whatever. I’m jumping into this love fest head first. Snarkers can suck it.
MUSHY SHOUT-OUTS GO TO:
Miss Alexandra Tyler, my very first “internet friend” who is 100% a real life, real deal friend. You are family to me and you have made this entire experience so much fun. I will never forget the way you said to me 10 years ago, “There’s this thing called Live Journal. It might be kinda wacky but it seems like it could be fun! I think we should try it!” I think back on all my memories of this crazy blog thing that we do and you are right there in every single one. Every single one! Thank you for always having my back, for your incredible support and encouragement, for your ear, for your advice, for all the dish sessions, all the reality checks and all the laughs. Thank you for being such a thoughtful Auntie to my kiddos, sending them so many out of the blue surprise packages all the way from California. You are the cream of the crop, the very Best in Show. I love you to the moon and back.
To Miss Tracy Benjamin, who I have known now for at least 7 years, if not more. Miss Tracy, you have a sixth sense. You jumped in and boosted me up when I didn’t tell you a thing, didn’t ask for a pep talk. I don’t even think I knew it, but you just knew it, and you were spot on. I hope it’s not too late to tell you how much that meant to me at the time. The blogging community can be fiercely competitive, so it’s especially good to know and trust someone that you can rely on for honest feedback, words of encouragement and a virtual fist bump whenever it’s needed. I also have to say how proud I am of you. You are on fire. All your hard work, all your mad kitchen skills, your beautiful photography, your pushing of the envelope – it all shows. A little curtsy, a little tip of the hat and a high-kick goes out to you, friend. You done Freckle proud. XO
To Miss Andrea Jenkins, I remember some of my first emails with you – they had to be at least 8 years ago (or more?!) and I know this because I can picture the turquoise blue imac that I typed my emails to you, and the little desk that I sat at under the stairs of my old house in downtown Charlottesville. I can picture that beautiful Miami vacation that you and Ward took with baby Ava and I remember thinking that those photos were some of the most beautiful images that I had ever seen. There is a special energy that comes through your photographs and I love that when you pack for a weekend away, you are willing to sacrifice space in your 60s floral suitcase for practical things like clothing so that you can fit the 5-10 cameras you’re excited to bring. I am endlessly inspired by you and it has been such a gift to watch you grow into such an accomplished writer and photographer over the years. And I know for a fact that you and I would treasure hunt the heck out of any place we were lucky enough to find ourselves together. I’m putting this out there: 2013 is our year, girl. We’re going to make it happen IRL. XO
To Miss “Dottie” Leslie Van Every, No one, and I mean NO ONE in this life has ever made me laugh like you have. Hear me now: being around you is like fueling an empty tank with pure joy. Your energy is infectious and I couldn’t have met you at a better time in my life. Do you remember the dynamite pump that Alex did? KA-CHOW, lady. That’s you. BOOM, happiness. When you and Alex left to head home and I was in that Executive King suite all by my lonesome? After being around you for 5 straight days, it really felt like the oxygen was sucked out of the room. It was a shock to the system, I mean it. I adore you and that precious little Peach. And I think we need a Skype date soon. XO
To all the loyal Frecklewonder readers and supporters throughout the years, you guys are beyond awesome. Thank you for showing even the slightest interest in my little world, thank you for loving my kids from a distance and being excited and proud of their accomplishments. Thank you for making time in your day to check in with me, leave a comment, ask a question, order something from my shop and generally just be a part of Frecklewonder. I have this crazy fantasy of mapping out a web-like, swirly, wacky trip around the world and stopping off to meet you all. Wouldn’t that be something?
And lastly, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge and thank my husband and my partner in all of this. For 10 years, he’s been my web guy. My programmer guy. My HTML guy when I (kind of) didn’t want to (refused) to learn basic HTML. It was always easier to just ask him. Terrible, I know. He’s been my Dad guy who always took over hanging with the kids on all the sunny Saturday afternoons so that I could have epic photo sessions of piles and piles of vintage that went into the shop over the years. He’s put up with shipping supplies on the dining room table, the baskets and bins of all the crazy stuff I move in and out of our house, and all the impulsive “OMG THE THRIFT IS CALLING” runs that I would take on a moment’s notice. Thank you Mister Matt, for ALL the late nights, the long hours, and the hard work. Fact: this blog would never have existed if it weren’t for you.
So what’s next? Some of you have been asking: will I still be on Twitter? Will I still be on Instagram? Will I still have a shop? Am I going away forever??
And the truth is, I don’t have a solid answer. I totally appreciate you guys wanting to know. I am thinking that the best thing for me right now is to do is just yank the entire plug. Disconnect 100% and I’m actually looking forward to seeing what life will be like without any of it. I’m hitting the hard reset button on life starting Monday morning. I’ll be doing a cleanse, starting a training program with Henry and I’m bound and determined to get 9 hours of sleep a night.
I’ll miss the heck out of you guys, and no doubt this will be a shock to my system but I know it will be good.
So what’s ahead? I’m happy to tell you that the wheels are in motion for me to go back to school to fulfill a decade long (somewhat secret) dream of becoming a nurse. My plan is to start classes in the Spring and I’ll be going to school full time once Dotty starts Kindergarten in the fall of 2013. My goal is to be a nurse by the time I’m 40. I’m putting it all out there and holding myself accountable.
So this is it, guys.
Freckle, officially signing off. Thank you for a really great chapter in my life. I’ll catch ya on the flip side.
XO
* What’s with all the creepy old photos? Well, I started off the Summer with only a handful in my collection and then I hit a few jackpots at various flea markets and yard sales. I had intended on sharing them with you and just never had the chance. No real connection to the text, I just think they’re pretty beautiful and I thought you lovers of old things might enjoy them, too.
* Post title comes from Matt. I didn’t have one and when I asked him what he thought, that’s what he threw at me. And the thing is, he’s absolutely right.
* I saw this today, and I do believe it is the funniest thing I have seen in a long, long time. via shutterbean
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